My Spiritual Journey
By Shaykh Muhamad Al-Yaqoubi
Written on the way from Fez to Damascus 0n Dec. 30, 2010
My inner-secret spoke by permission from Allah, revealing what is hidden in the wine jar.
It told my story in all languages,
Dictated by the Lord of dawn, I had no control over it!
The heart, transparent and pure, became like a mirror,
Like a book without pages, like a line without directions,
Countless images are piled in it, but none joint with it!
His Speech does not differ, whether it is “I” or “You” or “He.”
My inner-secret is united with His Meaning and my heart is a home of His.
He surrounds all my being though my thoughts go around Him!
Now I came to know the truth, when He manifested upon me.
He said, “Knock the door and enter the sanctuary of The Wali.”
He Himself proposed the drink and ﬁlled up my cup!
Upon entering, I saw Hallaj in the Presence of God; he was admitted before all people.
He stood there after a restless journey serving guests pure wine,
His secret was divulged; he, without doubt, had no trace of deviation.
Where are you,O man, before the beauty of Al-Qayoom?
Start to release the minds from the bondage of the sciences,
And offer your soul to get a glance at Him that lasts forever.
Passion threw me to Him from the early days of my childhood.
Ever since, I have been in His hands receiving His Bounties,
Till I stood before Him: for all of this, he offered me a guide, a father.
Since before I was created, I was in passionate love with Him,
I acquired all my wishes when I annihilated from all others,
And all hardships were removed since I witnessed His Beauty!
He renewed my essence and honored me by opening the door of arrival, He dressed my words, out of His Bounty, in the dress of acceptance, And when He allowed me to arrive, He protected me from the doctrine of incarnation.
When I witnessed His Beauty, I was bewildered,
And When I saw His Majesty, I shivered,
But He perfected His Grace and pulled me to Him in the blink of an eye.
Light shone from Him upon me to make my heart lit.
I received all satisfaction from Him and security,
His favors overwhelmed me and set my tongue to speak.
I love Him whatever His Decree brings,
My principle in love is being always pleased with Allah.
Take this passion from me, soar and ﬂy through space.
Till now, I used to call people to Allah from afar.
I used to speak in every conference, explaining the Way to Seekers.
But now, I pull to Him anyone He wants by an iron gaze.O people! My case in love is unique and wondrous.
By Allah, I have not earned of good works but the least share,
His love is my capital; I have no healer save Him.
I have not reached Him but through love- not my love, but the love of The Near.
My love for Him is as little as a seed; His love for me is beyond measure.
The honor is not in your loving Him, rather in being His beloved!
O people! I am not the same person who you have known.
He annihilated me from my senses and adorned me with the best affection,
He selected me for conversation; and embellished me with all disciplines.
I have been newly born these recent days,
He enrobed me with the Eid dress before mankind
And made me Imam of all the near and the far!
I was intoxicated by the news about Him brought by Gnostics,
I was annihilated by a glance at Him; then perished.
Thereafter, He saved me when He brought me back to witness the world.
I was drunk from the ﬁrst drop yet I did not stop drinking,
I was annihilated from the ﬁrst look yet I did not ﬂee from looking,
Until I entered His Presence and was granted the most precious Jewel!
When the opening came, the world before my eyes was perished.
Heaven became one yard close to me, and it is the least of pleasures.
The ultimate Bounty, which is the Beatiﬁc Vision, is my prize.
At dawn I received His immense Grace,
So, I began composing praise and gloriﬁcations to The Eternal Master.
Then I returned to lower plains, drinking from the ocean of The All-Knowing
Glad tidings of these gifts were given to me by my father; the Qutb of His time.
He removed the veil for me and described the House,
He said, “Advance swiftly till you enter the Diwan.”
By Allah, you will not enter it except after a thousand trials,
After they make you forget your family and friends,
And after they make you taste all types of humility.
You will not obtain the secret till you are burnt.
It has been difﬁcult for most people to attain it,
There is nothing like it in all the horizons.
People incline towards denial and hardly believe.
So, busy yourself in dhikr and follow the example of Al-Siddiq!
When minds are narrow, people hardly look for the truth.
Most people look for the outward and are struck by the eloquence of the tongue,
They care not about the inward, nor for what is hidden in the heart,
They do not understand the intimations of the people of Ihsan.
Most people would run from me if I did but pass wind in public,
Declaring that the Shaykh misbehaved, they would claim he is not qualiﬁed for irshad.
I would return home in the evening with but a few people of insight.
So ﬁnd other than me, if you are looking for a preacher,
Seek not my inner good through ﬂattering words,
If you want to walk at my pace, stay vigilant!
However, we accept everyone and we do not lift the veil.
We help the elderly and the young to arrive, by observing etiquette.
We know the obedient and the one who dissents, yet our door is open to all!